Spur Your Spouse on toward Love and Good Deeds

　　By Jen Ferguson

　　And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds –Hebrews 10:24

　　A few years ago, I remember Face Timing with my friend who was in hospice. He called while I was in the aisle of Target, but when you get the chance to speak to someone who is dying, you make do in the environment you're in. You don't really care if people are staring because you're crying into your phone.

　　That day, I told him I thought he was the kindest man on the planet. I even confirmed it with my oldest daughter, who was shopping with me at the time. She'd spent the night at their house so many times over the past 10 years, and yep, he never raised his voice.

　　And then, he spoke to me:

　　"You probably don't even remember this, Jen, but 10 years ago — we had just met at the pool for the first time — we were stranded with a dead battery, and you had just gotten back from a trip from Florida. Craig met us at the gas station and gave us a jump."

　　He went on, but this is what was important: Even though I didn't remember getting this phone call and sending Craig to help, he did. It was an act of neighborly kindness that our friend remembered for ten years. Ten years.

　　Our friends and neighbors get into sticky situations and they reach out for help. In our marriage, between the two of us, we can either complain and commiserate about the fact that someone needs us OR we can do exactly what the Bible says in Hebrews 10:24 and spur each other on to love and do good deeds.

　　Before today, I had never thought about this verse as being applicable in marriage, but when I think about all the times we have helped people in the past 19 years together, one of us has usually been:

　　Tired.

　　Weary.

　　Overwhelmed.

　　Broke.(Ok, we were probably broke at the same time.)

　　But the other one? Thank God he or she, him or me, has been there to spur on the other one, to help in the face of hopelessness, to give in the face of depravity, to be a light in the face of sheer darkness. To bring life in the face of death, as in the case of that battery, as in the case of his up-and-coming-barring-a-miracle last breath.

　　We could not breathe for him. We could not cure his cancer. We could not trade our life for his.

　　But we could live our lives sacrificially for his family and for others around us that God puts in our paths.

　　We can be Jesus to those around us. We can be living examples of Him who called Himself the Way, the Truth, and the Life. Some people reject Christianity until they meet people who love and serve like Jesus. They learn to love Jesus because of how we have loved them. It feels like the stakes are high when we think about it in this manner, but God does not expect us to do this on our own strength or in isolation.

　　God knows that we must be spurred on — this world is heavy with hopelessness, despair, and with people in great need. But to look for this encouragement, we shouldn’t have to look outside our own front door, but at the person sitting next to us on the couch.

　　Bring LIFE to your friends, married couples. Bring Jesus.

　　Spur on your husband.

　　Spur on your wife.

　　Love well and do good deeds.

　　Together, you make a great team. You just might save someone’s life. You just might be the very face of Jesus that they need. Those fleeting moments you gave to them may impact them for all eternity.

　　Jen Ferguson is a wife, author, and speaker who is passionate about helping couples thrive in their marriages. She and her husband, Craig, have shared their own hard story in their book, Pure Eyes, Clean Heart: A Couple’s Journey to Freedom from Pornography and are also creators of the Marriage Matters Prayer Cards. They continue to help couples along in their journeys to freedom and intimacy at The {K}not Project. Jen is also a mama to two girls and three high-maintenance dogs, which is probably why she runs. A lot. Even in the Texas heat.

　　It's time we get real about marriage relationships! Join marriage coach, Dana Che, as she and her guests deliver witty, inspirational, real relationship talk from a faith-based perspective. New episodes of the Real Relationship Talk Podcast drop every Tuesday.