A Prayer to Build Purposeful Quiet Time with Your Spouse

　　By Keri Eichberger

　　Bible Reading:

　　“So all of us who have had that veil removed can see and reflect the glory of the Lord. And the Lord—who is the Spirit—makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image.”- 2 Corinthians 3:18, NLT

　　I was fortunate to have parents who modeled a solid marriage. Most importantly, a biblical marriage. In fact, I knew well before I met my husband that I would work to make our union the top priority in our home–closely following my own relationship with Jesus. Little did I know how hard it would be. Which became apparent quickly as soon as we intertwined our lives, differing personalities and interests, and all the baggage from our pasts. But while stubbornness and pride would pull us in different directions causing rifts and arguments at times, a commitment to love and serve each other and God, a dedication to a better future, and a desire to live in unity, peace, and enjoyment in the gift of each other always sustained our bond.

　　Hard work. It’s taken nothing short of hard work on both ends. Yet if you were to ask me now, after 20 years, here is what I’d tell you has been the key secret to success: My persistence to my own growth in faith. When my marital expectations didn’t seem to be met, I sought the Lord, and learned to give and serve without expectation. As I learned the love of Jesus. As Jesus became my model and motivation. And the miraculous has since followed.

　　In time, my expectations have been surpassed. I stopped waiting for Mike to meet me in the middle. Waiting for him to ask me on dates, plan trips, and request quality time. Instead, I asked, arranged, and prioritized the moments I knew would be key for our connection and growth. And the beautiful thing is, God began to work on him through me. He not only became influenced by my walk and growth and followed suit, but he also loved every bit of my initiatives and now plans and prioritizes our togetherness even more than me at times.This is a divine blessing because as life has worn us down separately in certain seasons, or we’ve drifted as the demands of parenting, work, and service to others have increased, it’s hugely helpful for us both to be on board with the importance of investing inus.

　　How does all this resonate with you? Do you have designated quiet time together with your spouse? Do you wish you had more? Maybe you long for it to be more purposeful or for someone besides you to care. I’ve felt all these feelings. And in reflection, I’ve had to learn to focus on the greatest commandments when these sentiments return. To love God and love others (“others” being my husband), and to remember what results when I do. And when I’ve focused on loving God better—growing in my own personal relationship and love for him—my heart and soul soften, and a fresh love flows out as I see others through his eyes. As I see my husband through his eyes. And as I become more aware of how to serve like Jesus. I stop waiting for my husband to offer to pray for us, and I humbly ask how I can pray for him.

　　I begin to reflect and radiate the light of our Lord. And so do you when you turn your face to him. Friend, when we fill up on and reflect the love of Jesus, the people in your path notice. It changes them. It changes your connection. And even their desire to be with you. It changes your entire relationship as you recenter yourself in him, over and over again. And you build something beautiful as you remain committed to your love. First of God, then your spouse, and all the others the good Lord has blessed the two of you with. I pray that you will be encouraged that your own individual pursuit of loving the Lord and reflecting him boldly will also help build your marriage and open doors to the precious time you long for. Intentional time that Jesus demonstrated. That, in turn, enhances your connection and produces beautiful blessings in your relationship. And all throughout your life.

　　Let’s Pray:

　　Lord God, You are the giver of all good gifts. And a Christian marriage is one of your greatest gifts. While I know your love and presence alone are sufficient for me, you also long for me to love like your son, Jesus, and thus initiate and prioritize my presence with my spouse. I confess I haven’t always followed your example of humble servant love without expectation. But I know this is where the door opens to the connection I long for. All that I desire from those around me flows from and through you. And I find it when I first open my heart to you, learn from you, and then love like you. Thank you for modeling togetherness with those I’ve been blessed with and being a living example of servant love. Help me to prioritize the relationships in my life, especially my spouse. You are helping me build something solid with you as the unshakable center, and I praise you. In Your Mighty Name, Amen.