A Prayer When Choosing Life Feels Like Death

　　By: Peyton Garland

　　Bible Reading:

　　“For I swear, dear brothers and sisters, that I face death daily. This is as certain as my pride in what Christ Jesus our Lord has done in you.” - 1 Corinthians 15:31 (NLT)

　　Listen or Read Below:

　　I’ve never known a worthwhile thing that didn’t demand that I first give up something I cherished, often too deeply.

　　Marrying my husband required that I surrender my life as a single woman. I was no longer on my own schedule or timeline. Anything from dinner plans to holiday events now requires that I touch base with someone else. And that’s only the surface-level surrenders. Marriage requires that my pride, need to be right, and temper die in the face of loving someone else, allowing them to refine me, teach me, and encourage me in areas I’d rather not divulge.

　　Becoming a mother mandated that I surrender the body I once had, the one that could eat five pieces of pizza without gaining a pound, laugh without peeing itself, or even sleep through the night. It forced me to reckon with my inherent selfishness and laziness as another little creature’s needs trump my wants (and needs, too).

　　I often look at my old pictures, the ones from my late teens and early twenties, and laugh at just how much free time I had to look socially presentable and how much free time I had to travel and simply do what I wanted, when I wanted. A piece of me still envies that freedom. But I wouldn’t dare go back to who I was because there are too many layers of me that have been shed, pieces that truly needed to go, that I refuse to return to.

　　In the death of so many parts of me, I’ve become someone better. I’m certainly not perfect, but I know without any doubt that my life has meaning because I’ve been forced to die to myself over and over again.

　　As I learned repeatedly by visiting my grandfather’s headstone, there’s life by the graveside for me. Death, in Christ’s hands, is simply access to new life, and while it’s often inconceivable to our human hearts, this new life is always richer. It’s better. It lasts.

　　Death in the Father’s hands is never wasted. Not only is it never discarded, but it’s transformed into beauty. It often takes a completely new shape, leaving who you were not only unrecognizable but six feet under, completely out of reach. And that’s always for the best.

　　In the Christian walk, choosing life demands that something else die. You can’t become more like Christ while keeping a firm grip on your flesh. You can’t put someone first without putting to death the idol of comfort and self-preservation. Nothing safe and easy births the sort of change that lets you look yourself in the mirror and see new, God-orchestrated resilience.

　　As a limited human being, you can’t balance who you are and who you want to be. You must put one of them down, let one of them die, so the other can be sustained. And in God’s goodness and grace, He lets you decide which weight to carry.

　　Free will is beautiful, but choosing to be someone more always comes at the high price of denying our present wants, hobbies, and pleasures so something more real and lasting can take root and grow. Of course, this isn’t easy. Death never feels good. But there are far better things ahead than the temporary discomfort and pain of dying to ourselves today.

　　In this spring season, as many things blossom, bloom, and return to life, don’t forget the winter’s death they endured, the patience they practiced in their becoming, and the God they have surrendered to to become something far more beautiful and life-giving.

　　Choose life, even when it feels like death. You won’t regret it.

　　Let’s Pray:

　　Father, bless me with your discernment and strength when choosing life feels like death. As I honor your call to die to my flesh, I pray for your mercy and grace, and I ask that you grant me godly friends and mentors to champion me on this Christian journey. I praise you for being our Life and for never leaving us empty.

　　In your hands, death is transformed. We praise you for your resurrection power that not only saves our souls but grants us the power to walk in your peace, faith, and boldness.

　　In your almighty name we pray, Jesus, Amen.

　　Share your reflections on today’s devotional in theYour Daily Prayer discussion on the Crosswalk Forum.

　　Photo Credit: ©iStock/Getty Images Plus/SanderStock

　　Peyton Garland is an author, editor, and boy mama who lives in the beautiful foothills of East Tennessee. Subscribe to her blog Uncured+Okay for more encouragement.

　　Related Resource: What If God’s Heart Toward You Is Kinder Than You Think?In this episode of Talk About That, you will laugh along with stories about children’s books, volleyball mornings, St. Patrick’s Day, and even the questionable legacy of the Power Team, but underneath the humor is a thoughtful conversation about one of the deepest questions of faith: how God truly sees us. John and Jonnie reflect on weakness, mercy, and the struggle many believers feel in accepting that God is not only patient with them, but genuinely pleased to call them His own. It’s an honest, encouraging reminder that our relationship with God is not built on performance, perfection, or “having it all together,” but on His love, grace, and fatherly delight in His children. You'll come away challenged to see yourself less through the lens of self-criticism and more through the steady, compassionate eyes of a God who knows you fully, loves you deeply, and may just be rooting for you more than you realize. If you laughed out loud listening to this episode, be sure to follow Talk About That on Appleand Spotify!